Artichoke Conversion

Somebody out there clearly understands the headache of weight conversions (or is it volume?), that comes with our array of international recipe books: Last Sunday they kindly gifted us a metric chart which includes the following entries helpful to our situation:

10 mentals = 1 centimental

10 rations = 1 decoration

2 wharves = 1 paradox

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

There are 21 further entries, which you shall be spared. But I will mention, that on the same day there arrived a single artichoke, followed the next day by an email with the following negative conversions:

1 artichoke ≠ a summer

1 artichoke ≠ the feeding of a monastery

1 aritchoke ≠ easy handling in the bowl

Therefore the artichoke now sits in the wee decorative niche outside the Dhamma Hall, where it has served, this week, as a talisman in the apocalyptic weather - guarding us from the thunderbolt that nearly hit the hill, and the flood waters that swept the lane.

…Looking at the forecast, things aren’t likely to improve over the next week. Therefore, it is with much regret that myself and Ajahn Abhinando leave in the next few days for Holland and Switzerland respectively, whilst Ajahn Munindo returns to take over the brolley, so to speak.

What does that mean practically?- Amongst other things, the short term loss of our able work monk; that next week instead of a blogger with no censor, we have a censor with no blogger; and that Jay takes charge of the kitchen, which, with the help of Maureen, Lisa and Chan, now has a renewed compost system and more bins than ever: They would gratefully receive the following kinds of peelings:

• potato
• onion
• vegetable
  

not for the bin, but also helpful would be:

• long-life whole/semi-skimmed milk
• dried milk powder
• cheese
• soya milk
• tamari/shoyu soya sauce
• de-caff coffee

whilst down at the stores the following would be useful:

• wood for wood-burning stoves
• bottle brush
• Large Letter stamps (2nd class)
• kettle
• mansize tissues

thanks also, but we've plenty of olive oil, kitchen utensils, toothbrushes, instant coffee, tea bags, towels, honey, pasta, lentils, spices, cakes and biscuits, juice

Fire and Water

…With the continuation of last Monday’s deluge, it’s been a good week for Lovers of the Great Indoors. Here at the monastery, cooking in the kitchen has been the plum job for the morning work period, whilst outside the less fortunate have been shovelling sand, cutting back the greenery and glazing the greenhouse to afford themselves some shelter. For a time, there was concern for the fish; too wet for the cat to be prowling, but would the golden beauties be floating free of the pond at feeding time? Each morning Ajahn Abhinando had to relinquish his bonfire plans, and for Saturday’s guided ‘Bolam Lake and Ratanagiri Walk’ he had more need of aqualung than megaphone.

All that changed yesterday with a windy dispersal of clouds that showed no sign of re-appearing this morning. Instead, it was a peaceful and sunny dawn, on the longest day of the year. Perfect for a bonfire. Less perfect for working in the kitchen - where the only news of note is yesterdays’ arrival of olive oil from Italy. At first I thought “ah-ha, a peace offering for Milan’s defeat of Liverpool.” Until I noticed that the box was marked with the chemical warning symbol “Corrosive”…… G&G, we look forward to seeing how it cooks. Anumodana!

Actually, there is one other piece of news. That Italian delivery reminds me that yesterday was Jay’s birthday, for which he baked his own biscotti (unparalleled in all of Europe) and extinguished too many candles in one breath. Too many, because it doesn’t leave us much for lighting the stove with - all our cooker ignition thingies being kaput, and therefore one item amongst many that would be gratefully received:

• green vegetables
• garlic
• cheese
• long-life whole/semi-skimmed milk
• milk powder
• mustard/mustard powder
• butter
  

and amongst the non-edibles:

• 'lighter gun'
• holster (just kidding)
• bottle brush
• wood for wood-burning stoves
• 40W/60W screw-in energy saving bulbs
• kettle(s)
• mansize tissues
• jay cloths

thanks too but we've now plenty of olive oil, kitchen utensils, toothbrushes, instant coffee and tea bags, towels, honey, pasta, lentils, spices, cakes and biscuits and juice.

Boule or Bouffant?

Now then, where were we? Ah yes, the silent week. With its close, Ajahn Munindo and Tan Hiriko both took off to different destinations, whilst in the community (with a touch of ironic humour) we opened the following week with a quiet day. Quiet, that is, with the exception of the morning noises now routinely coming from the front of the house, which suggest that cat food bills on the hill are currently down; the rabbit population under control; and the birds outside the Ajahn’s kuti getting a little respite. If I might say so, I think he would be glad about that. But perhaps not so happy to hear of the sweet-black-daft-one’s now frequent appearance behind the kitchen. Like everyone else, I think she’s got a whiff of the Camembert round coming from the outside fridge.

Talking of rounds, Jay is certainly lending a touch of refinement inside the kitchen with his freshly baked French boules – which to me, whilst having that “chewy crust, open crumb and moderately moist interior,” still look more like his bouffant than boules. I wonder if they will fail to rise when he shaves his head? Or burn on top? Something that’s a monastic occupational hazard in the kind of Australian sunshine we had earlier this week. But of which there’s been no danger since the deluge began on Monday night: Perfect weather though for our greenhouse-without-glass, which now stands half constructed behind the meditation hall. And for those fish whose vista we’ve been trying to improve with Hermann’s new pond pump. Hopefully it won’t back fire with that cat around. Which reminds me of a slightly surreal kitchen conversation that took place recently: “Did we like sole?” someone was asked, to which another replied that here soul was not only a fishy problem, but a thorny one as well. Best left off the dana list I reckon. Which this week includes the following items that would be gratefully received:

• long-life milk
• skimmed milk powder
• eggs
• cheese
  

and in the stores:

• small bread baskets
• wood for wood-burning stoves
• Large Letter stamps (1st or 2nd class)
• White spirit (any kind)
• 40W/60W screw-in energy saving bulbs
• mansize tissues
• jay cloths (for him to clean, not wear)
• nailbrushes
• kettle(s)
• kitchen sponges
• cooker lighter thingies
  

thanks also but we've plenty of honey, kitchen utensils, toothbrushes, instant coffee, tea bags, towels, pasta, lentils, cakes and biscuits, juice.